*prepares party popper*
*nervously shakes the party popper*
*slowly falls asleep with the party popper*
*has a wonderful night with the party popper*
*gets married to the party popper*
It’s a beautiful evening in February. My wife and I are sitting at the fireplace, when suddenly a terrible image appears on the screen of my computer.
My wife looks at me. As I look in her terrified, cardboard eyes, filled with tears, she takes a deep breath, before saying with her shivering voice “It’s what you’ve always wanted, dear. Do it.” My hands start shaking and a lone tear rolls down my cheek. “I can’t, honey. I’m not like that anymore.” “I will do it.” a small voice behind us says. As I turn around, my eyes cross with my son; our son. “You don’t have to do this, Benedict.” I say, as I hold his hands.
Ignoring what I told him, young Benedict Popper-Are Optional holds my wife’s cardboard body in one hand, and her long, beautiful string in the other. With tears in my eyes, I turn my head away. A loud pop sounds behind me and I watch in terror as I see my wife’s confetti spread across the room.
"It’s what you’ve always wanted, dad…" my son says, putting his small, cardboard hand on my shoulder. "Yes," I say, "but not like this… Never like this…"
what the actual fuck
Dr. B. Gupta in Louisville, Kentucky, USA is a known trans/homophobic psych. I have personally been turned away from his services because of my gender and sexuality when I was forced to come out to him, he proceeded to tell me that he could no longer help me. Please spread this like wildfire. We may not have many psychs here but this guy is not worth your money.
I hate how if you lose your virginity at 15/16 you’re a slut but if you’re still a virgin at 17/18 you’re frigid. Congrats society.
That awkward feeling when you feel like you were just broken up with but it can’t be a break up because you were only friends with benefits.